First date can be tough. Awkward silences. A good deal of dead air. They can be nightmares. They can also be magical adventures. Often the first date is a moment you will remember years after you and the girl have split. You really do get, “no second chance to make a first impression”. Read on and make your first date experience a good one.
The key to many of the first date rules is to prepare.
Clean up and have a wonderful outfit.
Unless you want to go for the look, then make it look neat and presentable. Have some cologne on. Look and smell nice for the great first impression.
Bring mints or gum.
At dinner have some and slip into the restroom. Make sure that your breath stays nice and fresh.
Have a plan prepared for the evening.
Be in charge and in control. Have a backup plan ready if somehow things do not work out. Show her you are in control and confident.
Be Charming, witty and above all confident and sure of yourself and your plans for the Day.
Compliment her, but not too much.
Do not sit there and toady to her all night, but be sure you compliment her to put her at ease. It is best to compliment her on things she has control over, like dress or shoes, as opposed to going to your creepy, “you’re hot!” type of compliment.
Be flirtatious, if the conversation is going well.
Keep your eye on her and make sure you aren’t going too far, but being flirtatious lets her know what you want and allows you to see if she wants it.
Remember to be confident and charming.
Ask her lots of questions, but don’t probe too deep if she does not seem to want to discuss a topic. Have interesting topics to ask her about and talk about. Let her know about your views and you, but do not monopolize the conversation, let her talk and feel at ease.
Leave your mobile phone.
Unless you want to make an escape don’t use it or it is an emergency.
If you follow the 1st date rules if for some reason the date goes bad, although there should be no reason why things go bad, have an escape plan. There is no point in making her suffer through, and suffering through, hours of silences.
There are two simple methods to escape. Have a friend set to call you at a particular time. Feign a reason you have to leave when they do. Another is direct. Just tell her, “hey, I must go”. It will be appreciated by her if it is that uncomfortable. There should be no reason why she should not be all over you from the end of the date if you study the rules of the date rules.
8 Mistakes Men Make On First Dates
You’ve mustered up the confidence to approach the girl and show your interest. You’ve gotten her phone number and set up the first date. But what next? Here are 8 mistakes guys make.
Small talk on the phone.
This first mistake occurs before the date even begins. Many guys will call girls and ask them about their day, what they have going on next weekend, and request loads.
After all, women and men want what we cannot have. When you ask a girl a question about a topic you do not care about (let’s face it, you do not care about WHAT she does, you care about WHO she is) you aren’t playing hard to get.
Rather, keep the conversation short. Plan the date. And say goodbye before she has a chance.
First dates are meant to be laid-back and easy going. By over-dressing, you pressure the girl into thinking for where this date is going, you have concealed expectations. You also convey interest.
A wonderful t-shirt or a nicely fitting shirt and your very best pair of jeans, with 1 accessory are plenty.
Picking at a nice venue.
This puts unnecessary pressure on the girl and displays interest. Also, if it’s not a fun or sociable environment, it can put a damper on your ability.NO MOVIES. Dinner and a movie should be reserved for girls you’ve been dating for quite a long time. For getting to know more about the woman, the date is — and you can’t do that when you are both staring at a screen.
Also part 2: NO BARS OR CLUBS.
You aren’t currently going for a relationship, you need to make her your girlfriend. So use the first date as an opportunity to get to know her on a 1-on-1 foundation. (Not to mention, it steers you clear of competition from other men.)
Go to a coffee shop. Take a brief stroll by the lake. Something key, something that won’t take up a whole lot of time, and something inexpensive. This way, there will not be as many expectations, your time will be limited, and the two of you may concentrate on making the most of your time together.
Talking about issues.
You are meeting with someone new! Have FUN. Talk about what is possible. Role play. Have her show her most crazy hopes and dreams, and tease her about every one of them. There’s an entire spectrum of topics that are wild to have a terrific time discussing. However, for some reason, most 1st date conversations slowly gravitate towards… life.”So what’s your boss like?” “What did you major in?” “Oh you went to your parents’ for Thanksgiving, that’s so great.” Ugh! Face it, 99\% of our lives are boring … stick to the exciting, the surprising, the wonderous, the amusing … and she will be asking you once you’re available for another date.
Topics to avoid discussing on dates:
politics, religion, ex’s, major insecurities, psychological problems, family problems, and how long it took you to lose your virginity.5. Complimenting the crap. Women wish to be loved for what makes them exceptional. Deep down, a girl wants to “win over” her Prince Charming. She does NOT want a man who treats her like a queen based just.
Which brings us to “complimenting the crap”. For some reason, guys that are frustrated feel pressured to keep a conversation so they will drag on conversation topics they don’t care about. For example, if she says “Now I got a pedicure”, the guy will respond with “Oh cool. How was it?”
Following suit, comments like “Wow I really like your bracelet” don’t hold water unless you are a jewelry guru. Typically, those nervous compliments come off as needy and show much interest.
Make the woman work for a compliment. If she talks about her change the subject to something related that you care about — like massages. If she says “I love deep tissue massages in which they actually grind to my back” and you do too, THEN you can say “Oh cool, me too. In reality, amusing story, two weeks ago I.. .” and continue on.
The date is ended by letting her.
You are a guy. The lead is taken by men. You show that you’re in charge of your life and that you don’t need her approval, by ending the date before she does. It is a subtle tactic but it works wonders because you leave her wanting more. (As a consequence, she’ll be thinking about you once you aren’t together.)
Paying for her.
(Warning: Controversy Alert) Let’s get something straight. I advise my students to pay on the date that is 2nd, and 3rd and 4th and so on. I advise them to open doors and pull out chairs for ladies. If the man does NOT pay for the first date, but it works best. There are lots of reasons for this…First, expectations are raised by it. We’ve established that the first date ought to be light, laid-back, fun and positive. Those expectations by paying created will send signals that are mixed.
Second, it’s not playing hard to get. About purchasing her gifts that are free, nothing will make her attracted to you. In simpler terms, if you are chasing, you are not the one being pursued.
Like compliments, women should have to earn gifts on. After the first date, you can do what you want, but on it is important to show her you can stand firm.
Finally, it sets an unhealthy precedent for the rest of the relationship. Are you buying time with her? Are you purchasing her approval? Her love? Her sex?
Paying is a gentlemanly gesture. It portrays you as lover and provider, and it’s almost always the right thing. But it just turns on a woman once you’ve established that you are not predicted to pay. That you are doing it not because you need something, and because it’s the ideal thing to do.8. Revealing your cards. The date went well. In her mind, she decided who she will call first, what her name might sound like when she’s married to you, and what she’ll name your first five kids. And in case you’d just… lay… low and play hard to get for a little, her appeal for you would continue increasing.
Guys reveal their cards and condition their next move. “I’ll call you tonight.” “I’m free this weekend if you want to hang out.” “What are you doing Friday?” And it conveys curiosity. It makes you the chaser, not her.
We all want what we can’t have. We aren’t happy with anything unless we’ve worked for it. As a result of this, you always need to leave her wanting more. At the end of every phone call, every email, every date, every kiss… pull back just a bit and have her come to you. It’s called playing hard to get, and if you implement it just a bit into your normal character … you might just end up becoming mildly irresistible.
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